A neurotics life

Unscientific Answers

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And
your voice caught within your chest?

* It isn't Love, it's Like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am
I right?

* It isn't Love, it's Lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?

* It isn't Love, it's Luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there?

* It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?

* It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.

Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because
you don't want to hurt them?

* It isn't Love, it's Pity.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held
your hand?

* It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes
your heart skip a beat?

* It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about
them?

* It isn't Love, it's Friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one
you think of?

* It isn't Love, it's a Lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite
things for their sake?

* It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?

* Then it's Love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them
faithfully without regret?

* Then it's Love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part
of who they are?

* Then it's Love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?

* Then it's Love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your
soul so deeply it hurts?

* Then it's Love.

But do you stay because a blinding,
incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you
close and holds you?

* Then it's Love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?

* Then it's Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it's...
Love
5 Types of Sex
1. The first kind is smurf sex. This happens
during the honeymoon period: you both keep doing
it until you're blue in the face.
2. The second kind is kitchen sex. This at the
begining of the marriage; you'll have anywhere,
anytime, even in the kitchen.
3. The third kind is bedroom sex. You've calmed
down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do
it
in the bed room.
4. The fourth kind is hallway sex. This is the
phase where you pass each other in the hallway
an
say, "Fuck you!"
5. The fifth kind of sex: courtroom sex. This is
when you get divorced and your wife or husband
screws you in front of everyone in the
courtroom.


Love contest
Two young men decided to make a bet as to which
one of them could make
love more times in one night. They agreed that
sunrise would be the end of
the contest and each went to their respective
motel rooms.
The more boastful of the two went right to it
and
made love to his date.
Afterwards he leaned over and marked a "l" on
the
wall. Feeling sprightly,
he went again. And once again at the completion
of the act he marked
another "l" on the wall next to the first.
Figuring he had the bet in the
bag he decided to relax a bit and fell asleep.
Awakened by the sun's rays
coming in the window he quickly grab his lady
and
did it one more time and
marked another "l" on the wall. Just at that
time
his friend enters...and
upon seeing the marks on the wall
exclaims: "Damn! A hundred and eleven!
Beat me by three!"


Breasts 101
Finally, something other than Smiley
faces ...
(o)(o) Perfect breasts
(+)(+) Fake silicone breasts
(*)(*) High nipple breasts
(@)(@) Big nipple breasts
00 A cups
{O}{O} D cups
(oYo) Wonderbra breasts
(^)(^) Cold breasts
(o)(O) Lopsided breasts
(Q)(O) Pierced breasts
(p)(p) Hanging tassels breasts
\o/\o/ Grandma breasts
( - )( - ) Flat against the Shower Door breasts
IoIIoI Android breasts
($)($) Jenny McCarthy's breasts

And God created woman and she had three breasts.
He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you
would like changed?" She replied, "Yes, could
you
get rid of the middle breast?" And so it was
done, and it was good. The the woman exclaimed
as
she was holding that third breast in her
hand, "What can be done with this useless boob?"
And God created man.


Tingling
A fugitive was running from the police. He was
hiding in the house of his ex-girlfriend, and
they just had a "wonderful time." Suddenly, a
knock is heard on the door. "Police, open!!!"
The man hides on top of large rafters along the
living room ceiling. However, his abnormally
large balls hang down into sight. The woman
opens
the door and the police burst in, search the
house head to foot, but find nothing.
One of the cops notices the balls, and asks what
the hell those are. "Chinese temple bells," the
woman answers. "I've always wanted to hear the
tingling sound of Chinese temple bells,"
replied the cop. He gives them a great bang with
his club. No sound. Again, he bangs them, but
nothing. Puzzled, he whacks them as hard as he
can, and there is a loud scream from above,
"Tingling, you son of a bitch!!"

Dear WORLD,
It was nice knowing you.
I’m going to leave you now.
I have already gotten tired of all the games you’re playing.
In case you don’t know, you’ve given me challenges I now choose not to face. Can I call a friend? Ask the audience perhaps? NO!!! I’ve gotten tired of lifelines!!
To start out with, you’ve given me the wrong set of parents. Both of them are psychologically and emotionally incapable of molding us into model citizens of this cursed land. My so-called me mother is a self-centered psychotic and really mean nagger. She used to abuse us as a child and I still bear the marks of that phase in my life.
All the things you’ve offered me only caused me pain and more pain with only a few joys to salve it.
People think they can push me around. Well, this has got to stop.
I’m not a shrink. I haven’t even taken up Psych 101 but I know for sure that I’m one heck of a disturbed growing ball of angst.
The drive to be big someday has been siphoned out of my being completely. I feel numb inside and out. So devoid of emotions that I sometimes pinch myself to see if I’m for real. I have stopped caring about what people think a long time ago. Each and everyday I feel myself becoming more and more jaded about life. I am now a self-confessed whiner and cynic.
All I care about thee days is emancipation, procrastination and at this moment, DEATH!!
Adios WORLD!!

i just so dig this song..it reminds me of my first few moments w/ my familiar..heheheh

¤ A Little Bit ¤
by M.Y.M.P

I was kind hesitant to tell you,
should i let you know.
I was never really like this before
need i say more

[bridge]
or maybe i'm confused when you are near me,
i don't know what to do or i should be,
there's only one thing in my mind
that's you and me.

[cHoRus]
i'm a little bit of crazy
i'm a little bit of a fool
i'm a little bit of lonely
i'm a little bit of all
oh i need a cure
just a little bit of you
and i will fall

I'm always on the run to see you,
would you allow me to?
it wasn't my intentions to hurt you,
the feeling is true

[bRidGe - ChorUs 2x]

Chapter 2 of Tom Robbins' "Still Life With Woodpecker"

Consider a certain night in August. Princess Leigh-Cheri was gazing out of her attic window. The moon was full. The moon was so bloated it was about to tip over. Imagine awakening to find the moon flat on its face on the bathroom floor, like the late Elvis Presley, poisoned by banana splits. It was a moon that could stir wild passions in a moo cow. A moon that could bring out the devil in a bunny rabbitl. A moon that could turn lug nuts into moonstones, turn Little Red Riding Hood into the big bad wolf. For more than an hour, Leigh-Cheri stared into the mandala of the sky. "Does the moon have a purpose?" she inquired of Prince Charming.

Prince Charming pretended that she had asked a silly question. Perhaps she had. The same query put to the Remington SL3 elicited this response.

Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself or not.

Tom Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether time has a beginning and an end.

Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of the bed, and Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm.

There is only one serious question. And that is: Who knows how to make love stay?

Answer me that and I will tell you whether or not to kill yourself.

Answer me that and I will ease your mind about the beginning and the end of time.

Answer me that and I will reveal to you the purpose of the moon.

I've read this once sa Friendster and it really touched me and I cried..it's a sad sad story...here goes...

its been 4 months since i saw him and talagang
namimiss ko na siya... pero what can i do? it
seems that i have loved the wrong person.... but
still the pain keeps on hurting me and kung
walang magbibigay ng gamot para dito sa
nararamdaman ko.... baka mamatay na ako....

to give you a background about my life, everthing
seems to be fine except dun sa time na dumating
na sa buhay ko yung hinayupak na lalake na
yon.... hehehehe.... kung curious kayo about dun
sa guy... bestfriend ko po yon kaso lang iba na
ang nangyari as time passes by.....

classmate ko sya nung highschool. pards pa nga
ang tawagan namen.... o db ang sweet? di na ako
iba sa kanya and ganon na ren sya sa aken....
kung di nga lang ako naging babae baka naiuwi na
ako nun sa bahay nila and baka lahat ng gawaing
pang brusko eh ipagawa na nun sa ken eh..... pero
cyempre mukha pa ren naman akong babae noh!!

highskul cyempre may pr om.... wala cyang date,
wla ren ako.... i know that he wanted to invite
me to be his date pero ang ogag nga kasi nun kaya
the last minute tsaka lang sya nag-ask. he went
to our house... nakamotor po sya and medyo
pawisan pero infairness.... mabango pa ren....

he ask my permission to see my dress for the
prom.... cyempre para maloka sya sa aken at may
konting surprise... i refuse.... o sige, medyo na
frustrate sya pero hindi yon naging hadlang para
invite nya ko.... sa ganda ko na to..... cyempre
ang dami munang pa-echeng.... hanggang sa
tanungin nya ako kung may date na ba me.... e
kung di ba naman siya abnormal eh.... papayag ba
akong makipagdate sa iba eh sya lang ang gusto
ko.... lam mo yon... sarap sampalin.... so in
short, papilit pa ba ako? syempre.....

the night of my life came, i was so pretty sabi
ng nang-uuto kong nanay... pero naniwala lang ako
nang sya na ang nagsabi.... blush ako ever....
kahit alam kong maganda ako since birth(hehehehe)
iba pa ren yung sa kanya galing diba?

we enjoyed that night and lalo ko lang
napatunayan sa sarili ko na mahal ko na pala ang
hinayupak na bestfrend ko......

syempre ano pa ba ang sunod na event sa prom
kundi ang graduation na db? the night before the
graduation, we talked on the phone na para bang
it would be the last time na maririnig namen ang
boses ng isat-isa..... ive waited for the moment
na mabanggit nya na may feelings din sya and
hindi naman ako nagkamali.... tinanong nya ako
kung may possibilty daw na maging kame.... i know
na maiinis kayo sa ken dahil alam nyo ba ang
sagot ko? ah, eh.... hindi pwede kase bestfrends
tayo eh.... yung mga anak na lang naten yung
ipag-
partner naten.... sa isip-isip ko.... ang tanga!
pano ko nasabi ang ganong words? pero wala na
akong magagawa..... alam namang bawiin ko pa eh
di nahuli naman ako db? pe ro ang tanga ko
talga....

cyempre college na.... im so proud to say na
napunta naman ako sa magandang school and take
note... pareho kame ng skul..... ano to?
kailangan bang ituloy ang naudlot na pagmamahalan
namen?.... hehehe....

nagkaboyfriend ako for a year and a half....
minahal ko sya pero there are these conflicts and
problems na di na kayang ayusin.... in short....
nagbreak kame.....

i guess god meant that to happen kasi yon din
yung time na nagkita kame ng bestfrend ko..... sa
sobrang miss namen ang isa't-isa.... sabay na
kameng umuwi, kumain, pumasok..... im happy pero
parang lalo ko lang pinahirapan ang sarili ko
dahil my feelings for that guy grows each and
everytime that we are together... buti na lang
magaling akong magtago at magpigil.... hehehe....
bilib kayo noh?.....

one morning, im so busy preparing my project that
would be pass on that same day.... alam kong
dumati ng na sya at nasa likuran ko na ang mokong
pero dahil sobrang pressure sa project.... gusto
ko man syang dambahan... cyempre mamayang gabi na
lang di ba? hehehe.... di ko sya masyadong
napansin.....

may inabot syang sulat sa aken and he asked if i
could join him sa lunch.... i said yes.... then,
alis na cya.... alam naman kc nyang im busy.....

when i was about to enter the room, somebody
bumped me and my precious project fell... gusto
ko mang magalet... what can i do db? instead i
ask my prof to give me another chance to do my
project.... naalala ko si mokong.... the lunch
date.... kinuha ko ang cell ko to text him that i
cant come to our meeting.... e kaso.... pag
tinamaan k nga naman ng malas.... check operator
service daw.... i tried to look for friends or
other kakilala pero malas that day talaga....

and so i took my lunch all by my self.... naalala
ko yung letter.... hinanap ko sa bag... WALA !!!!
bumalik me sa corridor praying na andon pa yung
sulat.... wala ren.... god! why? minsan lang
magbigay ng sulat yon.... nawala pa.... dont know
how to tell him about the letter....

and so days and weeks passed, pag nagkikita
kame... di nya ako pinapansin... ako, i tried to
talk to him pero alam kong may kasalanan ako pero
ganon ba kalaki ang nagawa kong di pagpunta at
ganon na lang ang iwas nya?... sige... hinayaan
ko na lang....

months na ang binilang... i heard that he was
dating a girl from the same school that we are
in... masakit.... na sa iba ko pa narinig na sila
na.... mas masakit na wala na akong halaga sa
kanya.....

basta... ilang araw din yon na ganon ang
nararamdaman ko.... weeks.... months....
gagraduate na po ako.... i wonder what's instore
for me in my last day in school.... and so i
thought na puntahan yung favorite hang out
namen.... when i was about to get near the
place.... i saw him... with the girl.... umiiyak
ang bruha but i cant hear what they are talking
about.... so ive decided to get out of that place
before my tears burst out.... and then a common
frend ang sumalubong sa aken.... saying na buntis
ang girl.... syempre.... durog na durog ang puso
ko.... kung kaya nyo lang ma-imagine yung
naramdaman ko.....

the night of that same day.... naloka ang lola
nyo.... nagparamdam ang mokong pagkaraan ng
pagkatagal-tagal na panahon... i thought it was
something good for me... for us.... pero i was
wrong.... so wrong..... he gave me a wedding
invitation and isa ako sa bridesmaids..... the
girl... she was waiting in the car.... o db? dati
motor lang ngaun... car na....

and so the wedding came.... maganda po ako
nun.... sabi ng nanay ko pero wala ng nagsecond
the motion eh.... so naniwala na lang ako sa
nanay ko.... then, there was this professor who
c ame to see me.... he handed over a letter with
my name carefully printed on the enveloped.... he
said that he looked for the owner of that letter
kaso lang po malaki po ang skul namin kaya
mahirap magkahanapan db? and so nung nakita nya
ang name ko sa invitation, he decided to bring
the letter thinking that it could save souls...
daw....

and so i was about to open the letter when the
priest ask kung sino daw ang tututol... dedma
ako.... alam namang manggulo pa ko noh....

binasa ko na ang letter..... nakakatouch po
talaga.... he opened up his feelings for me....
hoping na meron din daw akong feelings for
him.... he ask that if i will show up to our
hang-
out the next day after he gave his letter, then
it means that i also have feelings for him and
that he would love me for the rest of our
lives.... but if i wont.... then he will never
open that topic again.... he pleaded to me na
sana pumunta ako... ...

if only i have that letter.... if only i knew
about it.... kung di lang ako clumsy and carelss
to keep that letter... things would be
diffrent.... if only.....

and so i heard the priest announced the couple as
husband and wife.... ang sakit......

picture taking..... gusto mang sumabog ng
nararamdaman ko.... as you know.... magaling
akong magpigil.... pero masakit po talaga....
sobra......

after the picture taking...... niyakap ako ng
bestfrend ko.... ang higpit.... and teary eyed
nyang cnabi na....

i still love you.......